Conformity to Non-conformity?

I was brought up to be basically a non-conformist, though not in everything.  Some things are right to conform to.  But others - variables - are, well, variable.

But somehow I detected that in certain general "groups", in order to fit with those particular misfits, one must "obey" a whole new set of "rules".  Yuck.

Like, what you are "supposed" to approve or disapprove.  What you may or should not wear; what kind of hairstyle - it's "supposed" to say something about your inner being.  Ick.

Why should a person conform to non-conformity?  I like what I like, not what the "they" of my "group" say.  GOD!  What happened to genuine creativity?  Shade it however you like.  But the absolutes - they stand alone in the clear light of Day.